Post by Jo on Sept 29, 2014 9:06:01 GMT -5
She hadn't slept well in ... months. So many months. Fitful sleep. She rarely had nightmares, no, that wasn't what caused the fitful sleep. She rarely even dreamed, because to dream one had to go into a deeper sleep than she usually allowed.
When was the last time she slept this well? Two times ago was the night before he left. Leaving without warning. Leaving her with her family, sure, but leaving none the less. She had worried. Had fretted. She saw the worry in the eyes of those she called loved ones around her as she started to sink back into old habits of restlessness and as she withdrew from being close again. So she had left to find him, had simply lingered behind when they moved on. Not to worry them, no, but knowing if she said she was going to go on her own to find Michael, she would probably have to fight for her point of view - and then still sneak off.
The time before that was in the medtent... dragged into the arms of a sleeping giant as he fought through the pain. As he kept her safe. She still pictures his arms there, holding her close, when she tries to sleep. It had helped once or twice. The comfort that he provided her, even though he was the one in pain. It humbled her more than once to think about it.
A soft puff of air against her shoulder. And her eyes flash open. She inhales a little. Then exhales. Arms wrapped around her. Holding her close. Not the giant. No. It took her mind a moment to catch up. Her friend. One who she trusted. No, nothing sexual. Not in the least. Just... comfort. Over the covers, dressed, not even a hand where it shouldn't be. Which, unto itself reassures her in a way that it shouldn't. Right? A kin should want to be held like a lover? Maybe? No... a friend. That is what this was, nothing more. Her. Friend. Which is why had come to speak; wary of a new person in camp. And had been offered comfort. Her. Friend. He had seen how tired she was, and had offered comfort.
She shut her eyes for a moment, then exhales slowly - opening her eyes she slid from where she was, from that warmth. Her eyes moving to the little trinkets on the bedside. Her eyes going to the time. She had four hours sleep. Nearly a record without drugs coursing through her veins to keep her under... nearly a record. She looks past the clock to look at the small things that remind someone of a woman. A soft smile on her lips as she thinks of the woman that they belonged to...
She reaches out and brushes her fingers over one of the trinkets. The woman that it belonged to was one of the few who she felt close to, who she ... yeah... she'd fallen asleep curled into her as well. Maybe it was a trend. True friends she could relax that much around. Could trust to make sure the darkness didn't consume her.
She exhales a shudder at the thought of the dark. Of that hole... her skin paling a little - fingers clinching just a touch... then she inhales deeply, exhaling again. "I'm lucky to have friends like you." As she thought of those she cared for. She said this softly as she slid back to rest. Legs stretching out in front of her as she sighed softly. "So lucky." Her eyes flicker to the sleeping form, then off. "Family." A warm smile touches her lips at the thought of just... belonging. Her head rests back against the wall - and she simply stared off for now. Not for the world would she betray the friendships she had gained here.
Not for the world. So she simply grew quiet. Her eyes moving off in the darkness, not the pitch of night, no... the new dawn. Her nerves calming. She exhales again... the goosebumps that had risen on her arms, the ones that warned her of danger were ebbing. She knew she was safe. Knew it. Had ignored the adrenaline that had come when she first woke. Had ignored the need to run and hide. She inhales slowly... exhales. Her eyes remain on the dawn... remaining so quiet in the dark. Keeping her fears at bey. Purposefully pulling up the faces of her friends, the warm smiles - pushing the chill down.
When was the last time she slept this well? Two times ago was the night before he left. Leaving without warning. Leaving her with her family, sure, but leaving none the less. She had worried. Had fretted. She saw the worry in the eyes of those she called loved ones around her as she started to sink back into old habits of restlessness and as she withdrew from being close again. So she had left to find him, had simply lingered behind when they moved on. Not to worry them, no, but knowing if she said she was going to go on her own to find Michael, she would probably have to fight for her point of view - and then still sneak off.
The time before that was in the medtent... dragged into the arms of a sleeping giant as he fought through the pain. As he kept her safe. She still pictures his arms there, holding her close, when she tries to sleep. It had helped once or twice. The comfort that he provided her, even though he was the one in pain. It humbled her more than once to think about it.
A soft puff of air against her shoulder. And her eyes flash open. She inhales a little. Then exhales. Arms wrapped around her. Holding her close. Not the giant. No. It took her mind a moment to catch up. Her friend. One who she trusted. No, nothing sexual. Not in the least. Just... comfort. Over the covers, dressed, not even a hand where it shouldn't be. Which, unto itself reassures her in a way that it shouldn't. Right? A kin should want to be held like a lover? Maybe? No... a friend. That is what this was, nothing more. Her. Friend. Which is why had come to speak; wary of a new person in camp. And had been offered comfort. Her. Friend. He had seen how tired she was, and had offered comfort.
She shut her eyes for a moment, then exhales slowly - opening her eyes she slid from where she was, from that warmth. Her eyes moving to the little trinkets on the bedside. Her eyes going to the time. She had four hours sleep. Nearly a record without drugs coursing through her veins to keep her under... nearly a record. She looks past the clock to look at the small things that remind someone of a woman. A soft smile on her lips as she thinks of the woman that they belonged to...
She reaches out and brushes her fingers over one of the trinkets. The woman that it belonged to was one of the few who she felt close to, who she ... yeah... she'd fallen asleep curled into her as well. Maybe it was a trend. True friends she could relax that much around. Could trust to make sure the darkness didn't consume her.
She exhales a shudder at the thought of the dark. Of that hole... her skin paling a little - fingers clinching just a touch... then she inhales deeply, exhaling again. "I'm lucky to have friends like you." As she thought of those she cared for. She said this softly as she slid back to rest. Legs stretching out in front of her as she sighed softly. "So lucky." Her eyes flicker to the sleeping form, then off. "Family." A warm smile touches her lips at the thought of just... belonging. Her head rests back against the wall - and she simply stared off for now. Not for the world would she betray the friendships she had gained here.
Not for the world. So she simply grew quiet. Her eyes moving off in the darkness, not the pitch of night, no... the new dawn. Her nerves calming. She exhales again... the goosebumps that had risen on her arms, the ones that warned her of danger were ebbing. She knew she was safe. Knew it. Had ignored the adrenaline that had come when she first woke. Had ignored the need to run and hide. She inhales slowly... exhales. Her eyes remain on the dawn... remaining so quiet in the dark. Keeping her fears at bey. Purposefully pulling up the faces of her friends, the warm smiles - pushing the chill down.
