Post by Fenris on Sept 23, 2014 22:58:00 GMT -5
Lucas fist is still drawn as Deaus vanishes from view. The Fenrir leans his head back and yells," YOU FUCKING PUSSY!!! YOU WONDER WHY!!! THIS SHIT!!! THIS SHIT RIGHT FUCKING HERE IS WHY!!! IF YOU ONLY FUCKING KNEW, IF YOU ONLY FUCKING KNEW!!!" He says nothing else...falls silent. The walls of this RV knew, or so Lucas thought. The Walls of Charters knew...or so Lucas thought. His mind was frustrated and pissed. He wanted to fucking end this argument once and for all. Always about Rachel...The man could never shed her...could never let her go.
The idea of her blonde hair draping over his body as he slept still haunted him. The thoughts of them with the kids together was like playing old videos in his head of a life time ago, a world he wanted to touch and was almost there, but yet slipped the fuck away last second. It burns him so deeply...so bad it is like nothing he has ever felt before. He smashes his hand against the steel reinforced frame of the beast once....twice....three times...Each blow inflicting that much more pain, cracking bone echoing through the empty RV, Knuckle pushing through the skin as his hand goes limp, and numb from it. He just looks at the wall...nothing...not even a bend.
Lucas puts his head against the wall of it and just slides down to his knee's, no tears...not this time. He burned them all dry last time he saw her. The fact she is carrying his child doesn't even bother him any more...all he can see is the mother of his children. The woman he was suppose to be with. Suppose to, is a rough thing for him to take. She is an image burned in his head, and why anything else is doomed to fail. Flik....she was doomed to fail, which burns him up inside. It all burns him up inside. It was like he was being crucified for his mistakes. He deserved to be...that doesn't mean he was just going to stop, just going to give up. He had a deep love for the MC, Rachel was part of that for him, as were the kids. The Fenrir growled as he pushed him self back up to one knee, like he could see her looking at him...he stuffed his other knee under him pushing him to stand. Her eyes when she was looking at him in the hospital room haunting him....Fuck....is all he can thing.
He wanders over to the spot Rachel sat in and sat down....he could smell her scent so strong...then he smelt Deaus," FUUUUUCK," His foot slams into the bottom of the table not moving it but damn near breaking his foot, his ankle pops." Fuck....fuck..." He reaches into the drawer and slams his foot down resetting his dislocated Ankle. From the drawer he pulls his last bit of healing shit Eva made." Oh well what a good use Lucas. You are fucking brilliant." He slides down the cabinet of the RV and looks around. Rachel was right...it doesn't feel right. It feels fake and out of place. He misses Kai's drawings on the fridge...even if they were scribbles. He misses JV's split Cheerios under the cabinet...It all felt sterile...and alone. He reset his hand with twinging of every muscle. He bites his lip and closes his eyes doing the work, and doing it fast. He doesn't breath till just before he swigs down the elixir his sister made. His eyes looked to the ceiling," Eva...where are you?"
He leans his head back against the cabinet and looks to the sink. This place will never be the same again. No more Dad....No more Fred bitching....no more Eva playing mom to everyone....no more Logan making color commentary to the people from under the RV as they went by. No more Rachel....unless he did something about it....no more Rachel....That thought made him sick. All of it made him sick but that part made him want to kill someone....there was a reason he fell into Harano before... All he ever loved was gone. He can't just turn that off. He has tried... Now as he cringes feeling the bones that are set heal closed he shifts to homid. Challenge Circle 15 minutes.....Oh yeah. Lucas is going. If Deaus bows out...Deaus is a coward...Deaus will lose Rachel....and she will be Back with Lucas....or Lucas will meet the ground with his Father....With out her...with out feeling complete and good about something....there was nothing for the Fenrir to die for out side the mission. That was weak to him....and he hated it. You can't bring back what is lost, but you can rebuild in their memory. More were gonna die before this was over....Lucas just hoped he got to see it next to his old, beautiful wife, and their kids and grand kids......In his mind that means he finally did something.
The idea of her blonde hair draping over his body as he slept still haunted him. The thoughts of them with the kids together was like playing old videos in his head of a life time ago, a world he wanted to touch and was almost there, but yet slipped the fuck away last second. It burns him so deeply...so bad it is like nothing he has ever felt before. He smashes his hand against the steel reinforced frame of the beast once....twice....three times...Each blow inflicting that much more pain, cracking bone echoing through the empty RV, Knuckle pushing through the skin as his hand goes limp, and numb from it. He just looks at the wall...nothing...not even a bend.
Lucas puts his head against the wall of it and just slides down to his knee's, no tears...not this time. He burned them all dry last time he saw her. The fact she is carrying his child doesn't even bother him any more...all he can see is the mother of his children. The woman he was suppose to be with. Suppose to, is a rough thing for him to take. She is an image burned in his head, and why anything else is doomed to fail. Flik....she was doomed to fail, which burns him up inside. It all burns him up inside. It was like he was being crucified for his mistakes. He deserved to be...that doesn't mean he was just going to stop, just going to give up. He had a deep love for the MC, Rachel was part of that for him, as were the kids. The Fenrir growled as he pushed him self back up to one knee, like he could see her looking at him...he stuffed his other knee under him pushing him to stand. Her eyes when she was looking at him in the hospital room haunting him....Fuck....is all he can thing.
He wanders over to the spot Rachel sat in and sat down....he could smell her scent so strong...then he smelt Deaus," FUUUUUCK," His foot slams into the bottom of the table not moving it but damn near breaking his foot, his ankle pops." Fuck....fuck..." He reaches into the drawer and slams his foot down resetting his dislocated Ankle. From the drawer he pulls his last bit of healing shit Eva made." Oh well what a good use Lucas. You are fucking brilliant." He slides down the cabinet of the RV and looks around. Rachel was right...it doesn't feel right. It feels fake and out of place. He misses Kai's drawings on the fridge...even if they were scribbles. He misses JV's split Cheerios under the cabinet...It all felt sterile...and alone. He reset his hand with twinging of every muscle. He bites his lip and closes his eyes doing the work, and doing it fast. He doesn't breath till just before he swigs down the elixir his sister made. His eyes looked to the ceiling," Eva...where are you?"
He leans his head back against the cabinet and looks to the sink. This place will never be the same again. No more Dad....No more Fred bitching....no more Eva playing mom to everyone....no more Logan making color commentary to the people from under the RV as they went by. No more Rachel....unless he did something about it....no more Rachel....That thought made him sick. All of it made him sick but that part made him want to kill someone....there was a reason he fell into Harano before... All he ever loved was gone. He can't just turn that off. He has tried... Now as he cringes feeling the bones that are set heal closed he shifts to homid. Challenge Circle 15 minutes.....Oh yeah. Lucas is going. If Deaus bows out...Deaus is a coward...Deaus will lose Rachel....and she will be Back with Lucas....or Lucas will meet the ground with his Father....With out her...with out feeling complete and good about something....there was nothing for the Fenrir to die for out side the mission. That was weak to him....and he hated it. You can't bring back what is lost, but you can rebuild in their memory. More were gonna die before this was over....Lucas just hoped he got to see it next to his old, beautiful wife, and their kids and grand kids......In his mind that means he finally did something.
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