Post by Jo on Sept 25, 2014 11:24:44 GMT -5
"Husabye bay-be... don't you cry... ssssh... ssssh little one. Ssssh." She said as she held an almost four month old who has a mop of red hair already. Tami had red-rings around her eyes from tears... she was stilling in the middle of a living room that wasn't hers. In a home she had never set foot into. Tears threatened to flow again, she was singing softly to Clair as much to keep herself from crying, as it was to comfort the baby. She was only 18; Tami, she was only 18. And here she stood with her sister's child... in her sister's home. She hiccuped in her singing and gently shifted her Niece in her arms.
She looked to the woman who was in the room with her, on the outside the woman was a businesswoman. But one look at her truly frazzled look, she was a social worker. Her clothes were second-hand that didn't -quite- fit her. Her hair was a bottle job, not professional. But, then, that didn't matter - didn't matter how little she made for a thankless job. That smile that flitted to her lips when Tami looked her way, that reassuring look said it all. It was a calling for her. Just like medicine was for Tami.
She had changed. Changed a lot sense her last time with her sister. She had avoided her family for over a year. Lo--Gaia, had it been a year? It had. She hiccups a little again. Her parents. They were too old to look after an infant. Her sister... she shut her eyes. Her sister had been the one who was normal, who had to sit next to her four years younger child prodigy of a sister while taking the same classes in Freshman year. Then, by senior watched her sister as she got into Medical school. Sometimes Tamara wondered if Vivi resented her. Sometimes. She looked at the infant in her arms and inhaled a little, her humming stopping.
"You know I'll take her. I'm her family."
"That's not the worry Ms. Winterthorn. The worry is, you're only 19 yourself. You're in school---"
"With scholarships that pay for my tuition, my books, my room and board, and still I have plenty enough to take care of myself and Clair."
"But--"
"Do you know what it is like to be the smartest one in a room when you're little? Do you know what it is like to basically raise yourself because your parents don't really know what to do with you? They try and keep up, but they just... can't. I'm not stating this out of hubris, I am not some prideful little girl who will let her infant niece fail while she succeeds--"
"But--"
Tami was gritting her teeth by now. "I know my limitations. If you wish, you can keep the case open and watch me. Until you deem it a good fit. If you don't like that - I will drag you and your supervisor into court. Please don't make me do that. You seem like a wonderful woman. And I have no reason to want to upset you. But I will not let Clair go to someone who isn't family."
There was a sigh from the woman. "Six months."
Tamara nodded. She knew it would be hard to show what she needed AND hide herself, she was too new. But she would manage. Had to manage. She watched the woman for a long moment. "Six months."
They were in agreement, the woman - she looked relieved. Something about Tamara brooked no argument. Something about the teenager made her want to leave in that moment when she saw her set herself firmly.
Tamara nodded. And showed the woman out. She had to pack. had to see to things. Six months. She could hide her wolf for six months... it was only six months.
..... six years... it was only six years.... she had barely let herself free. Had barley run. Had left. Gone to Chicago. Left her pack, who didn't understand her need to be a doctor amongst the weaver. She had tried to explain. Had tried to get them to understand. And not one of them would listen. She had given up arguing. Had given up trying to show them what she meant. Had given up on pack.
Tamara blinked her eyes and focused on the now. Her eyes flickered to the 8 year old blessing. She then looked toward the flap of the tent. She hadn't thought of that social worker in ages. Hadn't though about her sister's death - not like that - no so fresh. Her chest actually constricted. She lets out a shakey breath and looks to Clair. "You have it, baby. Now just solve for z." She watched the concentration on Clair's features.
A faint smile given and she looked back toward the flap. Pack. Was she really going to try again? It'd hurt too much the first time - feeling like an outcast in the one place she belonged. Maybe. Just. Maybe.
"Baby, I'm going on a road trip for a few nights. You be good. I have to meet someone."
Clair looked up and nodded "Okay, Mommy." she hopped up and hugged Tami. Having gotten used to this life. Tamara put her hand on the little girl's and sighed, running her fingers through the silky red ringlets, eyes shutting knowing that she shouldn't have had to be desensitized to it all... but there it was. Her precious little girl. Just accepting it - like a trooper.
"Love you."
"Love you more."
"Impossible." Oh, so impossible. She however, gave Clair a warm smile and kissed the tip of her nose. "Behave for them. And keep out of sight as much as possible. They have enemies."
"I know mommy..." She said with a sigh. "I won't get hurt." She frowns then a smile touches her lips and she leans up and goes MUWAH against Tami's chin. "And, mommy, nothing's impossible!" Only causing Tami to laugh.
She ruffled the girl's hair agian... then headed out. Tears threaten to fall - her chest still tight from the memory. Remembering those words from her sister when they were little... oh how she wished some days that were the truth. That nothing was impossible.
She looked to the woman who was in the room with her, on the outside the woman was a businesswoman. But one look at her truly frazzled look, she was a social worker. Her clothes were second-hand that didn't -quite- fit her. Her hair was a bottle job, not professional. But, then, that didn't matter - didn't matter how little she made for a thankless job. That smile that flitted to her lips when Tami looked her way, that reassuring look said it all. It was a calling for her. Just like medicine was for Tami.
She had changed. Changed a lot sense her last time with her sister. She had avoided her family for over a year. Lo--Gaia, had it been a year? It had. She hiccups a little again. Her parents. They were too old to look after an infant. Her sister... she shut her eyes. Her sister had been the one who was normal, who had to sit next to her four years younger child prodigy of a sister while taking the same classes in Freshman year. Then, by senior watched her sister as she got into Medical school. Sometimes Tamara wondered if Vivi resented her. Sometimes. She looked at the infant in her arms and inhaled a little, her humming stopping.
"You know I'll take her. I'm her family."
"That's not the worry Ms. Winterthorn. The worry is, you're only 19 yourself. You're in school---"
"With scholarships that pay for my tuition, my books, my room and board, and still I have plenty enough to take care of myself and Clair."
"But--"
"Do you know what it is like to be the smartest one in a room when you're little? Do you know what it is like to basically raise yourself because your parents don't really know what to do with you? They try and keep up, but they just... can't. I'm not stating this out of hubris, I am not some prideful little girl who will let her infant niece fail while she succeeds--"
"But--"
Tami was gritting her teeth by now. "I know my limitations. If you wish, you can keep the case open and watch me. Until you deem it a good fit. If you don't like that - I will drag you and your supervisor into court. Please don't make me do that. You seem like a wonderful woman. And I have no reason to want to upset you. But I will not let Clair go to someone who isn't family."
There was a sigh from the woman. "Six months."
Tamara nodded. She knew it would be hard to show what she needed AND hide herself, she was too new. But she would manage. Had to manage. She watched the woman for a long moment. "Six months."
They were in agreement, the woman - she looked relieved. Something about Tamara brooked no argument. Something about the teenager made her want to leave in that moment when she saw her set herself firmly.
Tamara nodded. And showed the woman out. She had to pack. had to see to things. Six months. She could hide her wolf for six months... it was only six months.
..... six years... it was only six years.... she had barely let herself free. Had barley run. Had left. Gone to Chicago. Left her pack, who didn't understand her need to be a doctor amongst the weaver. She had tried to explain. Had tried to get them to understand. And not one of them would listen. She had given up arguing. Had given up trying to show them what she meant. Had given up on pack.
Tamara blinked her eyes and focused on the now. Her eyes flickered to the 8 year old blessing. She then looked toward the flap of the tent. She hadn't thought of that social worker in ages. Hadn't though about her sister's death - not like that - no so fresh. Her chest actually constricted. She lets out a shakey breath and looks to Clair. "You have it, baby. Now just solve for z." She watched the concentration on Clair's features.
A faint smile given and she looked back toward the flap. Pack. Was she really going to try again? It'd hurt too much the first time - feeling like an outcast in the one place she belonged. Maybe. Just. Maybe.
"Baby, I'm going on a road trip for a few nights. You be good. I have to meet someone."
Clair looked up and nodded "Okay, Mommy." she hopped up and hugged Tami. Having gotten used to this life. Tamara put her hand on the little girl's and sighed, running her fingers through the silky red ringlets, eyes shutting knowing that she shouldn't have had to be desensitized to it all... but there it was. Her precious little girl. Just accepting it - like a trooper.
"Love you."
"Love you more."
"Impossible." Oh, so impossible. She however, gave Clair a warm smile and kissed the tip of her nose. "Behave for them. And keep out of sight as much as possible. They have enemies."
"I know mommy..." She said with a sigh. "I won't get hurt." She frowns then a smile touches her lips and she leans up and goes MUWAH against Tami's chin. "And, mommy, nothing's impossible!" Only causing Tami to laugh.
She ruffled the girl's hair agian... then headed out. Tears threaten to fall - her chest still tight from the memory. Remembering those words from her sister when they were little... oh how she wished some days that were the truth. That nothing was impossible.
